A few months ago, I found myself in a really awesome, unique position. My company had some business in New Orleans. I was the only one available to shore up the last minute details this business required, so I was nominated to go. Apparently the week I had to be there, there was a large conference being hosted downtown. All the hotels and flights were booked. My company had to pay to fly me first class to and from New Orleans. I had to book a very expensive hotel room downtown, since there were so few left. Once I landed, I immediately got to work. After I finished up, I headed to my hotel room and was actually provided a free upgrade to a suite. I take the elevator up to my room, on the 11th floor, in downtown New Orleans. Not only was it…
It’s December 31st, 2018. Tomorrow marks the start of the New Year. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I am not one of those types of folks. I often joke that if I did, I’d share a kindred soul to Bridget Jones in this regard, “This year’s New Year’s resolution? Keep New Year’s resolutions.” But there is something in the air this year where my heart longs to make New Year’s resolutions. I likely won’t. I likely won’t stick to them, even if I make them. That, or I’ll make them vague enough that if I fail them, I won’t beat myself up. Or, perhaps I’ll just invoke some old (good) habits I used to do regularly, since I’m finally feeling a tinge of empowerment to do so after what feels…
Nothing can prepare you for this day. Nothing on God’s green earth. October 15th, Monday, around 5:30pm, I had to say goodbye forever to my sweet puppy, Gracie. The shattered soul I am left with is nearly unbearable. The grieving, the ache, the chaos and utter brokenness I feel is consuming. It started a little around 11am. My sweet baby girl, after a full meal with extra added canned yummy dog food, began throwing up. “Huh, that new food did not settle well with her.” I thought. I rubbed her sweet tummy, her back and cleaned up her vomit. She came into the room where I was working from home, and began shaking. I picked her up in my arms and she rested in them, shaking, and I felt her ears, her nose, her tummy. She was warm. I didn’t understand why she was shaking and not…
I’m mad. Not like, fiery, furious mad. But just really frustrated. There is a rebellion in my soul right now. The kind where I absolutely cannot make myself work. See? It’s 3:44pm right now on a Monday. I spent half of my Sunday the weekend before last working until 10pm. Which is fine. I wasn’t too upset about it – except for the fact that it was in Nashville and I had my last night with my best friend planned – but had to work. Luckily, she’s one of the bravest souls I know and has a deep comfort with exploring new towns (and cities… shit, and countries too!) on her own I have to admit – I do not have that level of curiosity and adventure. And she had a great time. And because I had a 7am call the next morning, I had…
This isn’t a bragging session. Well, in one sense it may be, but not like you may think. I am moved. Tonight I am moved because I was just thinking back on how I exisit, and breathe, and live in this world. How I see it, why I see it that way… I owe it to my mom. I wish I could express how wonderful my mother is. I could go on for hours and hours of these countless deeds she has done – gifting time, money, resources – not only for me, but my sister, my friends, her friends, her ex husband (my dad), her parents… Seriously, the list doesn’t stop. And it’s likely that more are to come in her wake that will feel her good graces. I know, I know, everyone is grateful for a parent, or at least…
I had this moment a few weeks back. I’m in a restaurant with 3 of my older male colleagues and leaders. We just finished up a day full of meetings and are sitting down for a quick bite at a restaurant. As we were sitting there eating, a girl walks by us. She’s a smaller girl in stature, guessing early to mid 20’s in age, darker skin, and clearly dressed comfortably for the travel day I assume is ahead of her. She was wearing grey yoga pants, black “tennies,” and an undersized white t-shirt, however, her shirt is short, revealing her perfectly toned mid-drift. She chose to not wear a bra that day, as this was evident as she walks past us… very, ahem, “perky” we shall say. I am not bothered that this girl was wearing…
My view of things is so low-level right now. Drink water. Eat a salad. Do a meditation. Attend a jiu-jitsu class. Fold this piece of laundry. Put the dishes away. Finish this task. Send this email. I think I’d like to pull myself upward a bit. Outward. Higher-level. This means assessing where I’m going – not that I really get to know where I’ll end up. But more like, who do I want to be? “Be” is my word this year. I am taking advice from Gretchen Rubin, author of The Four Tendencies, and host of the podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin. Her and her family get together over the Christmas and New Year’s holidays and choose a word to focus on for the year. Gretchen’s word is “Delegate.” Clearly, she likes to…
Sometimes life throws you some deeply unwanted curveballs. An emotional rollercoaster of events in such a concentrated amount of time can change the trajectory of your life as you know it. It’s ok. I had been seeing the change in the distance looming nearer and nearer during the time this all had occurred, I just had no idea it was going to crash up against me the way it did. Let’s go back to a time when I thought I had found myself at pretty much the top of my game in my career. I had secured a great income and had worked my way up in my career over the course of a year that had found me working directly with the CEO and COO of a wildly successful startup company, I was helping them form a leadership team, of which I was a key…