“Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery of the truth about the unique history of our childhood. Is it possible, then, to free ourselves altogether from illusions? History demonstrates that they sneak in everywhere, that every life is full of them-perhaps because the truth often seems unbearable to us. And yet, the truth is so essential that its loss exacts a heavy toll, in the form of grave illness. In order to become whole we must try, in a long process, to discover our own person truth, a truth that may cause pain before giving us a new sphere of freedom. If we choose instead to content ourselves with intellectual ‘wisdom,’ we will remain in the sphere of illusion and self-deception.” [bold emphasis my own] – Alice Miller, The Drama of…
I had this moment a few weeks back. I’m in a restaurant with 3 of my older male colleagues and leaders. We just finished up a day full of meetings and are sitting down for a quick bite at a restaurant. As we were sitting there eating, a girl walks by us. She’s a smaller girl in stature, guessing early to mid 20’s in age, darker skin, and clearly dressed comfortably for the travel day I assume is ahead of her. She was wearing grey yoga pants, black “tennies,” and an undersized white t-shirt, however, her shirt is short, revealing her perfectly toned mid-drift. She chose to not wear a bra that day, as this was evident as she walks past us… very, ahem, “perky” we shall say. I am not bothered that this girl was wearing…